Ian
SCIENCE! Who Is Ian? Ian is a scientist. If anyone is the brains of the Operation it's him, not because he's smarter than everyone else (which he is, in terms of objective, important, scientific or useful thinking) but because he doesn't actually have feelings. Feelings are for faggots, and Ian is merely a homosexual. He was for a short time engaged to Amelia. Upon his discovery that she was fucking The Endless Void on the regular, he kicked that hag to the curb. Ian and Sean are currently in a bromance. High School Ian, the youngest member of Operation Midnight Climax, spent a significant amount of time with the group in high school. In fact, Sean and Amelia were (and Sean still is) too cool for school. Being fairly smart, but also placatory Ian was content to excel academically while making a conscious effort to not offend everyone with his utter lack of empathy and maintain a group of friends. In his senior year, he got a taste of what it was like to troll people in real life but fell back into like after a series of stern 'talking to's from what amounted to the Mean Girls of his high school. Most everyone from Ian's high school and the surrounding area is either a massive trainwreck, (Karl) terrible at video games, (McBass) or both. (Noobsauce) In fact, the only one who doesn't suck at everything was his Prom date and part-time beard, Brittany whom he would have probably had awesome Lady Gaga-sex with by now if he wasn't irrevocably gay. The Matrix Online Utterly intellectually unsatisfied, Ian spent his time outside of school jacked in to the Recursion server of The Matrix Online. He played as Dr. Walter Foxo, quirky old physicist of the Mega City Department of Energy, and science officer of the Transom. Ian could have portrayed anyone he wished, but he chose himself but thirty years older. Despite their whining, Dr. Foxo never joined Sean's personal freakshow, The Masquerade because when he wasn't awkwardly flirting with LESIG goons or fingering himself with the Department of Energy he was attempting to start a leet Machinist RP group in a similar vein. It is unclear why he failed so utterly in every attempt. It is most likely that his strict "No Lesbian Vampire" policy, combined with "/mood fidgety" alienated him from both the leet RP and core Machinist demographics. The University of North Carolina Wilmington Having been adopted into a decidedly middle class household, Ian found himself unable to afford the colleges he dreamed of attending. Ever the industrious one, he promptly convinced himself that undergraduate didn't matter and enrolled in the University of North Carolina at Wilmington to pursue a degree in Biology. And then he switched to Physics as it was a more direct route to POWER, UNLIMITED POWER. His first semester at UNCW was a time of incredible self discovery. It was then that he finally understood that sometimes schools of thought other than SCIENCE have value. Since he no longer lived in a small town in the South, it was also the first opportunity for Ian to be sexually proactive without fear of lynching. Unfortunately Ian, being a novice at the LoveGame, fell in with an film major who frequently described himself using the word 'hipster', and wore women's clothing only slightly less frequently. Receiving no advice or assistance from his friends in Operation Midnight Climax, it was sheer luck that Ian was struck by a wave of common sense, realizing that this kid was incredibly obnoxious and not at all someone that of whom Sean or the rest of OMC would approve. He extricated himself before any damage was done to his sphincter. After this, Ian resolved to focus on maintaining his status as a one-man power couple. To that end, he now hangs out the executive staff of the Unversity on the regular. There was also a lot of pathetic lovelorn bitching on his end. He even once threatened to move to Austria and become a monk. It is hypothesized that Ian would die without the documented approval of Operation Midnight Climax. The incident, however unfortunate and regrettable, left him with knowledge that every member of OMC already possessed: That they were better than everyone else. Ian's understanding of this truth leads him to be extremely picky about what he sticks his dick in, while Sean's understanding of that truth leads him to be extremely liberal about what he sticks his dick in, oftentimes much to the dismay and confusion of his bromate. Operation Midnight Climax Ian was instrumental in the formation of Operation Midnight Climax, despite what Sean says to the contrary. It was he who went spelunking in the Department roster and brought Chi into the Dark Heresy fold, and brought Amelia into line through domesticity. Beyond that, it was also Ian who thought up the esoteric and awesome name. The Future While things like Sean's inability to effectively use Facebook or kill everyone at Evergreen and Amelia's inability to maintain conversation or membership in secretive beta testing programs wear endlessly on his decidedly finite patience, he is probably the most loyal member of Operation Midnight Climax. This stems from his youthful naivety. He will probably shape up once someone sticks their dick up his ass. With regard to The Old Republic, he will devote at least some time to Fias Elsin, the man from W.A.M.P.A. Category:People